[Video to Savitar]

[chosenbylightning]

[The feed comes on to a bright meadow, a sparkling lake and the quiet calls of large herbivores in the distance. Dinosaurs. Barry's smile is as bright as the sky above because these are some of his favorites.

He's keeping his distance with the raptor, but he can still watch them from here and it's amazing. Fantastic.

So he thumbs his device on and sends out a call to one person who might be willing to share in his delight.] Hey, you up?

The herds are clustered near the lake. It's absolutely beautiful out here.


I brought breakfast.

Comments

[vivifier]

...

I'll be there in five minutes. Or less.

[chosenbylightning]

We'll be here.

[And he'll wait, allowing the raptor to pick at some of the food, or better still wander in the woods that aren't far away to start working on his hunting skills on some smaller prey.

The coffee is hot, the weather perfect and there's more than enough food for both of them. Barry can't make things right between them back home - but he can at least try here.]

[vivifier]

[ And here, apparently, Savitar is at least willing to seem like he's listening. Barry probably has Kara Danvers to thank for that.

True to his word, he's there in nearly five minutes. Wordlessly, he'll sit down next to Barry. ]

[chosenbylightning]

[Barry has a lot to thank Kara for in general, but this too. He nods as Savitar sits, offering over a coffee. If he wants to eat he can take his share, there's more than enough to go around.

And okay.
He can do this.]


I'm sorry.

[vivifier]

[ He takes that coffee, drinking some of it with the apology, because that'll give him time to think about it. Sadly, he still has no real idea of a reaction by the time he's swallowed. ]

You're sorry?

[chosenbylightning]

[He really doesn't know what to expect here, maybe nothing better than the last time he'd tried to talk him down, but he still has to try.]

Look, I don't remember the time line that created you, but that was still me. What happened was still my fault. I was desperate and I don't exactly make the best choices when I'm like that. [Flashpoint, anyone?]

So I'm sorry. For all of it.

[vivifier]

[ These? These are the slightly shaky hands of a man having to tamp down the urge to throw hot coffee in someone's face. Sorry Barry. ]

It sounds like you're mostly sorry future you made me.

[chosenbylightning]

[There's no right way to have this conversation and he's pretty positive it's not going to end well no matter what he says.

But when has that ever stopped him before?] That's not what I said. Not what I meant.

I was desperate to save Iris and I made some bad choices to try and do that. and it sounds like after you.. [after you murdered her] I kept right on with those bad decisions by turning you away.

[vivifier]

I created myself. [ That's what he said, through Julian, right? ]

It wasn't just you.

[chosenbylightning]

But I had a hand in it.

[Maybe he was too hopeful here, thinking that a setting far removed from issues of time and Iris and everything that went wrong, that they might be able to fix this.]

At least that's what you told me.

[vivifier]

[ A sharp look. ]

I know what I said. You did this to me, you took everything from me. But I created myself. Retrocausality.

[chosenbylightning]

[Second verse, same as the first.
A little bit louder and a little bit worse.

Barry sets down his coffee. Really he should have seen this coming.] And I tried to help you. I tried to find a way that didn't have to end in death.

[vivifier]

There isn't a way. I'm a time remnant.

[chosenbylightning]

You never even gave us a chance to try.
We held off a Time Wraith. We could have found a way to stabilize you.

[vivifier]

I had hours left. Hours. Not days, weeks or even months. What were you going to do in hours?

[chosenbylightning]

[And in those hours two people died that didn't have to. Frustrated, Barry drags a hand through his hair.] And if you had come to us in those days or weeks before we could have had more time. But we would have tried to save you.

[vivifier]

Or you would've left me in the speed force. Why would I trust you?

[chosenbylightning]

You don't know that!
If you had come to us without the theatrics we would have wasted less time trying to find out what you wanted and been able to do something for you.

[vivifier]

[ Increasingly angrier time remnant? Check! ]

Why would I believe that? Why would I ever believe that? No one helped me before they put me in the speed force. Why would you help me now? I was hurt and damaged and none of you did anything. Not you, not Cisco, not Joe.

[chosenbylightning]

They put you in there because you killed her!

Joe lost his daughter. Cisco lost Caitlin. Nobody was in a good place to help anyone. Especially not that version of Barry. I went to the future, I saw it.

They didn't do it because they hated you or because you weren't right. They did it because they were lost in their own grief!

[vivifier]

Do you even understand how this works? The version of Savitar that killed her was gone. I hadn't done anything yet. I tried to save her.

[chosenbylightning]

And she still died.
He didn't have to..

I went to that future. They were broken and lost but they weren't cruel. You can't tell me that you didn't do anything wrong.

[vivifier]

If I did anything, it was their fault. Have you ever tried to get medical care when you can't go to Star Labs and you can't go to a hospital because Barry Allen isn't a metahuman?

[chosenbylightning]

[A frustrated sound. Every time he tries another crime he doesn't remember is thrown in his face.] And this version of me doesn't remember. I can't believe they all would have just left you to die.

[vivifier]

So, what? I'm lying?

[chosenbylightning]

Did I say that?

No. I didn't.

[vivifier]

You abandoned them and they abandoned me. I don't care if you don't believe me. 'I don't know what you are, but you're not my son'.

[chosenbylightning]

[An angry sound]
I don't know what you want from me.

I came here to try and make peace and you throw other people's mistakes at me.

[vivifier]

Why do you even care?

[chosenbylightning]

Because I do.
Because what happened to you shouldn't have. Your shouldn't have been left, you shouldn't have been cast aside.

I can't make it right at home.

I..


I guess I was hoping I could here.

[vivifier]

You can't fix something that's already been done. I don't want to be in this place, I don't want any of it.

[chosenbylightning]

But it doesn't have to be like that here! It doesn't.

None of us want to be here. We all want to go home. But for now we're stuck with each other.

[vivifier]

And how long will that last if Iris or Joe or HR show up?

[chosenbylightning]

It can last.
Look I can't promise they'd be happy to see you. [Especially Joe, at least at first] But I can make them understand, so can Cisco.

[vivifier]

Right.

[ He sets the coffee down, looking out at the herd. ]

[chosenbylightning]

[He barely checks the impulse to roll his eyes as Savitar turns his attention to the dinosaurs.

Fine. Stalemate then.

He watches the triceratops mingle with the hadrosaurs, listening to the quiet hoots and rumbling calls. At least he's not watching alone?]

[vivifier]

[ At least Savitar didn't see that barely contained eyeroll and chuck that coffee at Barry? ]

Mom would've liked this.

[chosenbylightning]

[Mention of his (their?) Mom gets a slightly sad smile.] Yeah. She really would have.

And I don't think we'd get Dad out of the Globe Theater if he ever saw it.

[vivifier]

No, probably not.

[ Maybe they can just will their parents out of time and into this place. ]

[chosenbylightning]

[And wouldn't that be a thing? To see their parents again? Here? His smile turns wistful.]

Then he'd go to that diner before Mom dragged him off to the Amazon to explore.

[vivifier]

Or to Camelot.

[chosenbylightning]

[A small laugh.] They'd never leave.

[Barry blows out a breath, looking down at the coffee in his hand.] I miss them so much.

[vivifier]

[ He's quiet for a moment, maybe too long a moment. Saying nothing, but looking at the herd. Then: ]

Yeah. Me too.

[chosenbylightning]

[It's not the best start towards peace, but it's something.

Barry will take it. Breathe and watch the dinosaurs.] I think I saw a herd of ankylosaurs on the other side of the ridge.