[ Audio ]

[vivifier]

[  Okay. So apparently he can't actually phase through the cast and get it off that way.  He'd intended on just doing that instead of asking any single person for help or even just going to hospital and waiting for hours for someone there to do it.  But he'd tried, and he couldn't actually get enough space between the cast, the brace and his actual skin to maneuver the room to actually get the thing off. 

So it was either man up and ask for help or what he actually ended up doing:  speeding to Star Labs, stealing a bunch of their speedster-proof alcohol and holing up in his apartment.  

Of course that meant that once he was actually drunk, he turned on some music annoyingly loudly (oh god, it's Taylor Swift, WHY is it Taylor Swift?) and opened up an audio-link. Oh, joy. ] 


Someone! Get this thing off of me! Before I find a saw! 

Comments

[vivifier]

See? Not Taylor Swift. At all. [ Denial, denial, denial. ]

You could come over and you could check under the cast with your...eyes, and if it's not broken you could take it off. Couldn't you?

[ The next song on his apparently very loud music player? Radio? Something by Paramore, and oh god why is he still singing along? ]

[iamsupergirl]

[ Kara is laughing. She is. Even if it sobers a little, for some concern poking through her smile, even while Savitar goes on singing loudly with the new song on the still loud music all around him and blaring through the screen with him on it. ]

Are you alright? You seem a little --

[vivifier]

I'm fine. I had some of Cisco's beer. Future Cisco. I don't know, whoever the Cisco that made the stuff in the place is.

[ Well, that was almost coherent. ]

When I try to phase through the cast, it just....starts vibrating and hits things. [ Which is really really annoying and actually did hurt, so maybe he's not right about it being healed. Whatever. GET IT OFF HIM. ]

[iamsupergirl]

[ Scrunchy, faint puff of her mouth. ] Wait. You're drunk?

I thought you couldn't even get drunk.[ Like her. Well. Like her before they discovered the alien bar carried alien alcohols, several of them even, that could get her drunk on a single glass, when whole bottles of wine were like water. ]

Also, new rule. No trying to phase through the cast. Not even once.

[vivifier]

I can't, except on this which I guess I am. Did. Ask Cisco.

[ He actually honest to goodness laughs, but there's no real mirth to it. ]

I'm not going to do it again.

[iamsupergirl]

Good. Don't forget. [ And maybe she will. Later.

She knows enough to know you usually don't abandon drunken people.
Not that she keeps company with all too many of them all too often. ]

Are you going to be okay over there? Do you need company?

[vivifier]

I forget nothing. [ Except what it's like to be a good person. Or, apparently, what it's like to be cared about. ]

You can come over. If you want.

[iamsupergirl]

[ He couldn't get drunk before this either. The logic there doesn't hold yet.
Kara gives a look at her place. Quiet and still compared to the blaring network. ]


Okay. Don't move. I'll be there soon.

[vivifier]

I'm not going anywhere.

[ Don't drink and run, right? ]

[iamsupergirl]

About fifteen actual minutes later, Kara is outside this same door again, and knocking, again. Though, unlike the uncertainty of last time, she's wondering if knocking can even be heard over the music blaring out the door now that she's this close to it, too.

[vivifier]

At least he was more likely to hear her over Taylor Swift and Paramore than say Rob Zombie or something. So, yeah. He hears the knock, opens the door. "Kara!" Oh God, a hug. Good thing Kara probably likes hugs, right?

[iamsupergirl]

"Oh?!" That's the startled sound that is question and exclamation both as the door opens and she's suddenly hugged by Savitar, who barely seemed to withstand people talking to him, and now was suddenly launched at her? Between the options that they suddenly have become hugging friends somewhow and the fact this is the first time he's been drunk, it's probably the drunk-thing, right? Right?

Kara at least truly is a hugger, and it's a response easily to hug someone back. Admittedly, in a tiny tiny corner of her, it's a lot easier than navigating whatever it all actually is. Who Savitar is, and how he fits into all of this. Barry; and just don't ever call Barry. Even as she pulls back after, with a lopsided line to her mouth, that ribbon of surprise and some concern even. "Everything okay over here, still?

[vivifier]

It's kind of n awkward hug, considering his one arm is still in a cast, the brace having been discarded by his couch when he tried phasing his way out of it. That was hours ago, way before he was this drunk.

And as she pulls back and asks that question, there's that mirthless laugh again as he leads the way back into the apartment. Still sparse, but at least he has some things now. The towels he bought, that plant bulb, some dishes and a coffee table that has three cans of some sort of brandless alcohol on it. One of which is empty. Books and a whole TV set.

But yes. That laugh, and then: "I'm fine." It's the sort of tone that if he were a normal person might translate to 'I am so not fine, help me.'

[iamsupergirl]

That laugh really isn't all that comforting. Like. Not even a little. It creeps cold down her spine and into her chest from the back tugging her lips into the small bow of a confused frown, even as she follows him into the room a second time. The words that follow up on that even less help to cement the answer as being right.

"Are you sure? Not that you don't have to be--" That might be a little deprecating, because she's not sure about how polite it is to point out, to someone you hardly know. Who just finished hugging you and bringing you into their hours. "--but you, uh, don't exactly sound it?"

[vivifier]

Oh, he is absolutely not okay and he hasn't been 'okay' for what feels like an eon. An endless amount of time. Probably because he hasn't been. Speed Force prison, shunning, just generally being Savitar. Absolutely not okay.

"I'm fine." He's going to go and sit on the couch, though. "Did you want to try it?" Shaking one of the cans at her.

[iamsupergirl]

That's not any more believable than the first one, and if he was Alex, or even Barry, she might argue it more, but he isn't Alex, and he most certainly wants to not at least be called Barry and that might extend to pretty much everything. She doesn't know yet. She doesn't know a lot at this point, and that's pretty much an anxiety mountain all in itself.

"Um," There's a press of lips, and a sideways look at it, even as she reaches out to take. Looking at the non-descript can more than anything else. "Isn't it specifically made for you? Like for your metabolism?"

Not that hers is terrible far off, given how much she has to eat in a day to maintain. But there was the whole idea it wasn't made for her, and she could already see what Alex's and J'onn's face would be in her head.

[vivifier]

Savitar snorts, and how can a snort sound so distressingly broken? It's an inhalation of air, it's not even words. It's barely a sound. "There is literally not one thing in this world made specifically for me." Not even his armor made it over to this 'new' world. And from what he gathered, it's pretty much destroyed anyway.

"It's for high metabolisms. Last time I checked, that includes you."

[iamsupergirl]

It's a little hard to be really interested in the can in his hands, when he keeps making sounds like that and then following it up with words like that. The kind of sharp that with all the help of everything in her hands -- slash from the likely-empty can on the table -- makes it all sound more miserable that his normal abrasiveness. Less careless, and more caring a whole lot about it.

"I could say the same for myself?" Kara says a little more valiance pulling through than awkward uncertainty. "None of it is familiar, and while I know some of the people, none of these places or things are from my Earth specifically." There's a tiny beat, before she adds with slightly wave of the can in her hands. "Not that any of those people are, though, either."

Kara was already the odd duck from a different universe from another universe. Which he knew.

[vivifier]

That's because he does care, Kara. He cares so much and he really does not want to care at all. Or maybe he does. Shh, somehow he caught not so secret emotions. Don't tell, Supergirl.

"So we're both messed up, then?" Is that what he should take away from this?

[iamsupergirl]

The way Kara's expression dismay's with something like shocked confusion, and that little crinkle between her eyebrows, at those words, might be enough to tell that's not at all what she meant. But then, so is, "I was thinking more, that it means we're in this together, right? And, then, if we're together, then neither of us is actually alone in all of this?"

How was it possible for him to take everything to the worst place? For him to have any shade of that face, but none of the constant, unwavering faith and hope and endless zeal that was everything she associated with it?

[vivifier]

An eon in trapped in the literal hell of the worst moment of your entire life will absolutely break down every bit of hope, that you have and twist it into something awful. Being abandoned by nearly everyone that you love because you're the previous systems copy of yourself? Well, that takes care of the rest of it real quick.

That's when faith wavers and the face you see in the mirror becomes a monster.

"I don't want to be alone." Would he admit that to anyone else? Absolutely not.

[iamsupergirl]

Kara might be nearly invulnerable -- skin, and muscles, and bones stronger than steel under a brilliant yellow sun -- but anyone who knows her well knows that her heart has none of those things around it more than physically. Maybe it more than the rest of her was tireless, even without any protection, tissue paper soft no matter the load it was given to carry, never learning how not to care, never wanting to for long, or ever truly at all.

Those words register with a pain in her heart, that reflects lightning fast to her face and her bright eyes. There's no world in which she could ever see that kind of pain or even fear reflected those so familiar eyes and familiar face and not feel it to the tiptoes and top of her heart. How wrong. How he shouldn't be afraid or hurting, or that it shouldn't look like this under all that distance and annoyed bluster. He's not Barry -- and he is, and he's not -- but it's all tangled up together. And her heart with it, when the answer is faster than a bullet, too.

"You don't have to be. You won't be." These words almost entirely tumble and trip over themselves, trying to get out fast enough, certain enough, and sure enough. It's a movement almost too fast, uncertain in its own right, at the very same second, whether to place her hand on his, and in the end, she ends up with her palm up for his hand. "I'm here. And I'll be here, as long as I am. I promise."

[vivifier]

His problem, one that he'd never ever admit to anyone if he's even admitted it to himself, is that he does care. He cares about everyone he's hurt, everyone he plans to hurt, everyone he ever loved. Even now, he still cares. But it's buried under so much pain and hurt and lashing out that it feels like hate. Like anger. Like destruction. So that's what it becomes, even to the point of self destruction. He says god, he means monster. Gods don't feel pain but Gods are loved. Gods are cared about, they're not alone. So if he's none of those things, what is he?

Zoom told him once that they were the same, and on his darkest days he knows now that Zoom wasn't wrong.

But here she is. Kara Danvers. Supergirl. Everything that's good and kind and didn't leave, because she didn't know that was a thing that happened. Telling him that he's not alone, that she's there. Offering him a hand that it kills him to take but eventually he manages. How is he supposed to believe it?

He wants to believe it.

"You promise?"

[iamsupergirl]

It's not instant and she doesn't know if he will take her hand, while it floats there in the air, waiting.

Like he isn't certain it isn't going to bite him, but even more, floating there, she knows it's better than just reaching out. Than having just taken his hand. Than just assuming. (Than just treating him like Barry, where she wouldn't question it, wouldn't have waited.) It's a choice. Everyone is allowed to make their own choices. To be different people. To say yes, and even to -- though she holds her breath and heart hoping he won't -- say no.

When his hand touches hers, she curls her fingers gently and nods, repeating. "Promise."
Her eyes prick a little, but she pushes a small smile, trying to lighten it a little. "Cross my heart."

[vivifier]

He can't help but think that it's got to be a little bit startling when he squeezes her hand, carefully. And then pulls her in to hug her. But honestly, he has had a lot of metahuman alcohol and there are so few people in this world or any other that he'd actually believe if they said something like that to him. Kara Danvers is on that list. Honestly? Kara may be the entirety of that list, at least for now.